It’s no understatement when I say that over the past few years the superhero film has taken over our cinemas in a storm of gadgetry and unearthly powers.
From billionaire philanthropist Bruce Wayne and his brooding alter-ego Batman, to uber rich Tony Stark and his ability to make himself fly with his tech skills, those without actual powers are a force to be reckoned with.
Then there are the men who have their ‘hero’ tag thrust upon them through no fault of their own – Bruce Banner becoming green behemoth the Incredible Hulk, Kal-el being sent to Earth by his parents and becoming Clark Kent aka Superman. That’s not forgetting hammer-wielding Norse god Thor, moody teen Peter Parker’s alias Spider-Man and many more superheroes from all corners of the universe.
Unfortunately, with great power comes great douchebaggery.
Not content with becoming human-kind’s ultimate saviour, they still come with all manner of issues resulting in egotism, arrogance or just plain rude behaviour.
I take a tongue-in-cheek look at a handful of moments where a superhero acts in a way unbecoming of their stature and character.
5. Iron-Man being an arrogant tosser
Those who recall Tony Stark giving his slimline suit a test flight will remember the moment he decides to try and reach a new record altitude. Now, Stark is involved in creating all sorts of machinery and technology, so he’d be well aware that things wouldn’t go to plan. We’re not surprised when ice forms on his suit and it malfunctions, leaving him hurtling towards the ground.
Thankfully for him things are remedied and he manages to get power back just in time to fly full-pelt through oncoming city traffic which, if we’re all honest, could have caused mayhem and carnage. If that’s not reason enough, then how about the entire drunk Iron Man sequence in IM2?! It’s this kind of arrogance that makes Stark – and to an extent, Iron-Man – an insufferable moron. In saying that, Iron Man 3 looks epic!
4. Peter Parker becoming a fighting machine
This isn’t so much a character trait that annoys, it’s just story development that bugs the life out of me. Having come to terms with the fact he can shoot webs from his wrists, Parker’s ultra-quick transformation from science geek to skilled fighter is jaw-dropping. His coming together with Flash Thompson is unbelievable. And not in the good way.
Moments earlier he had unwittingly smashed a canteen tray full of food all over Flash’s back before scampering off. Now, face-to-face with the school jock/bully, he manages to muster up the balls and skills to open up a can of whoop-ass on his rival.
It’s astonishing that he’s managed to learn how to fight and react like a seasoned pro in such a short period of time. Correct me if I’m wrong, but when us Brits come face to face with a spider, they tend to run for cover or just freeze. Parker does neither here. He also musters up the strength to overpower Flash – a guy twice his girth. Yeah, I don’t buy it Parker.
3. Superman/Clark being vague and creepy
You’d think that being an alien orphan on a new and strange planet would mean Kal-el would want to endear himself to his new friends. Unfortunately, in his new guise – as Clark Kent – all he does is avoid any searching questions about his past and constantly watch Lois Lane – the girl he pines for.
Let’s start with his penchant for secrecy. How the hell anyone puts up with him avoiding all questions is beyond me. I ask someone a straight question, I expect a straight answer. No dancing around it like a politician. Then there’s his ‘watching over’ Lois. Back then it was deemed romantic. He’d fly outside her apartment, watching her. Many believed it to be his love for her that resulted in him protecting her to this degree.
Nowadays? It would be described as stalking and Lois would be well within her rights to issue a restraining order. Supes, you have powers beyond that of us mere humans, but you don’t have the confidence to ask a chick out? Man up!
2. Batman always disappearing without saying goodbye.
It might just be me, but Batman constantly buggering off after an exchange, without even a cheerio, is just plain rude. Come on man, how difficult is it to say bye?
There’s not much more to be said about such blatantly frustrating behaviour…apart from the following:
1. Avengers’ not caring for human life
Picture the scene – a city is under attack from beings from another dimension. In come the saviours of humanity, the Avengers. But wait, what’s that? They’re not trying to draw the fight out of the heavily populated streets. No, they just add to the mayhem by destroying buildings, blowing up cars and roads and wreaking more havoc on the populace.
What is it with the self-obsessed, self-centred superhero tag team that makes them think it’s ok to bring more devastation to the city they’re allegedly trying to save?
At no point do we see them show concern for the locals. Even in the trailer we see their disregard for human safety. With heroes like these guys and gals, who needs enemies?