Most of us like the Cinema and the experience it brings. I personally feel giddy and excited when the lights go down, popcorn and softdrink at the ready when the images start to appear.

There’s rarely anything more visceral that a giant action movie in your face with sound loud enough to warrant a visit to the hearing specialist afterwards. Going to the Cinema is one of my favourite things to do on this planet….. BUT……. there are also many downsides to Cinema which could eventually lead to the death of it entirely. I would hate for this to happen but the people in charge seem to be doing nothing to prevent its decay. Let’s take a look at some of the problems inherent within the system…..

The Price: One thing I will whine a lot about is the current cost of going to the Cinema. The price keeps going up and up, my wages don’t. The experience remains the same, if not degrading slowly over time. A lady in my town was recently kicked out with her 4 kids because they checked her bag and found that she had a candy bar for each of the kids in there. Their obviously strict policy of not bringing your own food was well enforced here. What seems silly though is that they could’ve made over $120 with the tickets and drinks for all 5 people but kicked them out for the measly sum of about $8 for candy bars. I really couldn’t believe it. On top of the ridiculous cost of going to the Cinema, ours doesn’t even put ice in the drinks which means in about 3 minutes your drink is warm. I actually take a ziplock bag of my own ice with a whole icecube tray’s worth in it. It’s amazing that such a simple thing can make the experience sooooo much better. I mean, does anyone really like drinking warm Coke? For the cost of what you pay, some frozen water doesn’t seem all that hard to add now does it? Lets not even start on the difference in cost between one item in a supermarket compared to the price of the same item at the cinema.

Douchebags with Phones: Yes, I’ve almost snapped a few times from their constant use of their phones during a film. I’m sure most of you have been there. People Texting, receiving calls, giggling with their mates as the ultra bright backlit screen waves about, bringing down the mood and raising the temperature up. I’m amazed that there isn’t more incidents within the Cinema walls of people getting their lights punched out. With each visit to the Cinema, I feel I’m getting closer to a visit with a prison cell on an aggrevated assault charge. “That’s correct Your Honour…….. The Defendant did manually insert the phone into the victim’s anus, whilst laughing maniacally.” Surely there has to be a way to better police this situation rather than politely asking people before the movie starts to make sure you have your mobiles turned off. We pay way too much to have to put up with it. An EMP pulse that kills any electronic item in the room would be nice….. those with pacemakers need not apply.

Parents who bring their babies and toddlers to adult rated films: This is one that gets my goat the most and it happens more than you’d think. Kids get bored quickly and if you’re not taking them to something that whizzes and bangs with lots of bright colours in fast succession, then you’re going to piss off the entire room. If you can’t find a babysitter then wait for the DVD. Trying to hear the film SE7EN when some dickhead has his 6 month old crying all the way through is a torturous enough technique that it could be employed at Guantanamo. I’ve never understood this. I have kids and if I couldn’t get a sitter, then I just wouldn’t go. It wasn’t the end of the world. You’ve gotta have respect for people around you, many people these days just don’t give a shit about anyone else.

Torrent Downloaders: Why put up with the abovementioned problems when you can download the movie before it even gets to your local Cineplex? If it’s anything like I’ve ever seen, it’s a shitty looking videotaped in a cinema copy with Russian subtitles. They’re absolutely terrible. If you’re going to watch a movie in that state then you really aren’t getting the full experience and I don’t really even see the point. You are doing yourself and the film a major disservice. Still…… this is probably one of the biggest killers of the industry today and many Film companies are pursuing legal action against torrenters who’ve uploaded and downloaded. The problem is so huge though, it’d be like trying to fine everyone who watches porn. They need to take a new angle and maybe even work with torrenters somehow. There has to be a way to embrace this trend as there is no way they’ll ever be able to stamp it out.

Home Cinemas: With the advent of cheaper larger screens and projectors, surround sound systems and a comfy couch, many people cannot even be bothered to venture out into the public domain and put up with such problems. I can certainly see the allure myself although my home cinema is not really up to where I’d like it to be by now. I would love to have a room solely dedicated to a theatre atmosphere. Some people create their own theatre rooms with chairs in rows, stepping up in height, a projector behind them and so forth. I would love this kind of setup but my home cinema experience will really just be a lounge room with a big screen and surround. Maybe one day I’ll have this dream theatre…….. but not till after I have a games room that resembles Timezone. In saying all this, you still cant watch the newest releases right away with your home theatre so that is still one edge you cant take away from the cinemas. If they ever release some kind of system so you can pay to download a new release in cinemas to your home theatre, it will be great but will also be the death knell to the industry. If you give people a choice to watch something in private or at the cinema with a bunch of twats, what do you think they’ll pick?

What are your pet peeves in the Cinema? What are the things that have you ready to burst out in a fit of rage? Has anyone here actually snapped or know someone who has? I’m sure there’s many more points of contention than I have mentioned here, these are my personal reasons I try to avoid something I love to do dearly. It’s unfortunate that it’s come to this but it’s really getting out of hand. I love and hate the Cinema Experience in nearly equal parts, but the love for it is just that little bit stronger for the time being. If the scales tip the other way, then this punter will no longer frequent these establishments. How do you think they could improve on the whole experience?