It should be a story of rags to riches – obscure Internet comedy show gets a chance at the big screen – but all the creators, actors, writers and directors (yeah, they do it all) Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim achieve is that sometimes things are better left in the depths and caverns of the Internet.

First time filmmakers Tim and Eric are given a billion dollars by the crazy rich Tommy Schaaang (Robert Loggia) to make a movie, however, after a horrific production and using the budget as their personal piggy bank, the final film is only 3 minutes long and stars a Johnny Depp lookalike. Obviously angry about Tim and Eric’s efforts and the investment of his money, Schlaaang sues the duo for the entire billion dollars. Oblivious to how they’re going to pay back the evil investor, the two reply to a job offer to run a mall in the middle of nowhere that the advertiser promises, will pay them all the money they need.

I honestly don’t think that my mind can comprehend the attempt at comedy on show in Tim and Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie and when I say attempt, I mean attempt, because the film makes it impossible to fathom why the hell it was actually green lit in the first place. All I can think is that it exists on a higher level of meta storytelling that me as a film viewer am unable to understand. And well, if that’s the case, I wholeheartedly never want to be on that level anytime in my lifetime. It seems like the audience is outside of the intended joke and that makes it very difficult to find a single redeeming feature about the film.

The brand of comedy is so innane and infantile, basically boiling down to doing or saying something weird or stupid and then repeating it so many times that its forced to become surreal. Imagine the directors banging you over the head screaming ‘This is funny, isn’t it? Isn’t it!? ISN’T IT!?!?!?’ it’s a horrible experience in every way and I can say, without a shred of hyperbole, that it’s actually difficult to sit through. Not because it’s offensive – although it does go out of its way and try to be, mostly with vulgarity – but because it’s offensively bad and the inner conflict of ‘I could be doing someone better with my time’ it is a struggle from around the 10 minute mark.

You’ve also got some big name cameo’s in the film including Will Ferrell, John C. Reilly and Ray Wise, to just name a few, and all I can do is feel sorry for them. The fact they’ll be connected with this abysmal atrocity for the rest of their careers is nothing short of embarrassing, even more so for Reilly, watching his performance was like witnessing a real life tragedy unfold before my eyes.

If I see a worse film in 2012 then I’ll be convinced that the Mayans were right and the world will indeed be coming to an end, all I come hope for is that our firery demise will be a hell of a lot shorter than the runtime of Tim and Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie.