GIVEN we’re having to deal with being bombarded by all things Twishi…sorry, Twilight, something hit me – the two main stars of this franchise are just so unappealing as ‘actors’.

The films based on Stephenie Meyer’s awful books are painful. And as a horror fan, they infuriate me by playing around with the vampire myth to such a point that they are no longer threatening or scary.

Don’t start me on the Breaking Dawn nonsense of a DEAD vampire – Edward – being capable of impregnating a human depressive aka Bella. I realise it’s a film about an unreal creature, but even that plotline defies EVERYTHING we’ve ever thought we knew about our fanged friends.

To that end, I bring you five ‘actors’ who are so unappealing on screen that I will not go out my way to see any film they star in, purely because they put me off.

5. Kristen Stewart (Twilight, Adventureland)

BEFORE she sidled onto cinema screens as the morose, unsmiling Bella Swan, Stewart starred in a couple of films I enjoyed – Panic Room being one. However, since taking one of the two lead roles in the Twilight Saga, she has quickly become one actress who puts me off seeing any film she’s in.

It’s not even her ‘acting’ that’s off putting. Away from the silver screen, Stewart still manages to retain the look of a teenager who’s found out her favourite boyband has split up. It doesn’t take much to smile, but when she manages to crack one, she actually looks like she’s in pain.

There isn’t anything redeeming about her ‘personality’. In fact, I’m at a loss to how she keeps getting work. So-much-so that Snow White and the Huntsman is now on a list of movies that I WON’T be going to see. There’s a more-than-decent cast involved in Rupert Sanders’ twist on the fairytale, but a suicidal-looking Snow White just isn’t enticing.

4. Adam Sandler (Jack & Jill, Grown Ups)

ONCE upon a time, I did find Sandler mildly funny. When he was first making in-roads on the big screen, I laughed at him in Happy Gilmore, Little Nicky and The Wedding Singer. Coupled with that, I was impressed with him in Punch-Drunk Love and Reign Over Me.

However, over the past few years Sandler and his bestest buddies – better known as Kevin James, Chris Rock, Rob Schneider and the likes – have got involved in films that are basically just ‘jobs for the boys’.

You Don’t Mess With the Zohan offended me. Not in the bad-taste sense, just because it tried to pass itself off as a comedy. It wasn’t. Then there was Grown-ups. The least said about that car-crash the better. I avoided Zookeeper and having seen the trailer for Jack and Jill, a part of me died inside – oh Al Pacino, what were you thinking?

Now, I’m at the point in my life where his man-child antics and dressing up as a woman and putting on the feminine voice are just tiresome. There’s nothing appealing about what he does nowadays.

3. Sarah Jessica Parker (Sex and the City, I Don’t Know How She Does It)

IT’LL come as no surprise that I find SJP’s films abhorrent – mainly because I’m a guy and also because she basically acts like Carrie Bradshaw in every single thing she does.

When it was announced SATC was being turned into a feature film, I groaned. When the sequel was announced, I grimaced. Having seen a few of her other ‘efforts’, I see little in the way of variation from her. Generally, she’ll portray a woman who likes the finer things in life, she’ll come up against an obstacle in her life, then she’ll overcome it. THE END.

Oh how I long for the days of actors actually testing themselves by getting involved in films you wouldn’t expect. Sadly, it seems SJP is happy to get paid to coast along on the coat-tails of SATC. And if you’re a fan of Family Guy – Peter Griffin was right!

2. Tracy Morgan (Cop Out, Death At a Funeral)

Tracy, it’s wearing thin. Can we please desist with the shouting? It’s not funny. In fact, it’s one of the reasons I’m no longer as keen on 30 Rock – and I loved that show.

But taking his angry, annoying character from that hit TV series and plonking it right into the middle of feature films shows either a lack of talent or just an actor too lazy to diversify.

Cop Out is easily one of the worst movie experiences in the last 10 years for me. I’ve no idea what the hell Bruce Willis was doing in it. Or Seann William Scott, for that matter – although he rarely shifts gear from American Pie. But the lowest point of a woeful film is Morgan. Again, he mistakes shouting and screaming as acting. And more worringly, casting directors seem to do the same.

The day Morgan does something subtle and unexpected can’t come too soon. But I won’t hold my breath…

1. Robert Pattinson (Twilight Saga, Water For Elephants)

IT doesn’t say much for an actor when I refuse to watch his film while stuck on a plane for over four hours and a dead iPod. However, that’s exactly what happened last month during the flight home from Greece.

Water For Elephants was the movie of choice during that particular trip. But, for me, it wasn’t an option. I’d rather attempt to find a sleeping position despite being hemmed in like a battery hen. Nope, Pattinson is an actor who will only appeal to fans of Twishi…sorry, I’ve done it again!

Also, he just doesn’t put in ANY effort to look like a star. In most interviews, he resembles a student who has stumbled in front of a camera after a night on the razz and tries to pass himself off as a star.

It’s a shame, but I think my hatred for all things Twilight have coloured my view of him. But when he doesn’t look like he can be arsed – then sorry Rab, but I can’t be arsed with your films.

So there you have it people. Just five actors making their money in Hollywood who are so unappealing I’d rather hammer rusty screws into my eyes than watch them on a cinema screen.